This Table of Contents lists all the articles in the blog organized by themes. Titles are hyperlinks.
Last updated January 2022
Last updated January 2022
Sex
Is Sex Sacred?BDSM
The physiology of BDSM (part 1) Altered states of consciousness in BDSM
The seven elements of submission
Panic attacks in BDSM scenes
Relationships
The Wall of Words The virgin/whore complex
Nobody’s got the gun
The simple beauty of being lovers
Science
The physiology of BDSM (part 1) Oxytocin, monogamy and altruistic punishment
Endorphins and adrenaline - What science really says
Indignation and self-righteousness, explained by David Brin
I have discovered your blog on several separate occasions while looking for answers to my BDSM questions. Your posts have been far more than just useful explanations, they have triggered more thoughts, sometimes more questions. Very exciting, thank you. faerow
ReplyDeleteThere is a question I've been unable to find any information on and wondered if it's something you have had any experience with, or knowledge of. I am a newbie to BDSM and discovered that as a submissive I love impact play and the feeling it stirs up in me. I also realised I have a masochistic tendency and want the play to be harder. After just two play sessions, the bruises from the first disappeared in 3-4 weeks and I felt no physical after effects beyond that. The second was heavier with more thuddy implements. The bruises disappeared in just 2-3 weeks, but I now have a deep, dull pain and a numbness in all those areas where I received the impacts that has lasted a further 2 weeks and is not going away. I was wondering if the body of a newbie needs conditioning or learning to accept impact pain. Is that possible? I wonder if I went a little too hard a little too soon and my body is taking some time to adjust and heal. My doctor has ruled out any serious medical issue, although I suspect he would not have known about any possible neurological issues.
Thank you, I am glad you like my blog. I just wish I could dedicate more time to it.
ReplyDeleteTo answer your question, the numbness is a concern because it could indicate nerve damage. Dull pain that lasts more than 2 weeks indicates damage to the muscle. In my opinion, you are playing too hard with implements that are too thuddy and cause damage deeper than the skin. Nerve damage can last a lifetime and should not be taken lightly. Most nerves are enveloped in muscle, which protects them, but near joints they are close to the skin and vulnerable. My advice is to try to enjoy sharper pain (which can be quite intense) delivered by implements that damage the skin (floggers, whips, canes) and not the muscle. If you want to stay with thuddy, heavy implements, make sure that you are hit were there is a lot of muscle (buttocks, thighs) and not near joints, the hips or the spine. The skin adjusts and becomes thicker if you play with sharp impact, but muscles and nerves will not adjust. No matter how long you play, you should be careful not to damage them. Another thing to watch out for are major blood vessels; rupturing them can kill you. The best way to avoid damage is to stay with the areas that are normally targeted by BDSM play: the butt, the thighs (careful with the inside) and the meatier areas of the back. Bony areas are dangerous.
Thank you very much for this detailed reply. I will follow your advice - I certainly want to play safe. I will also get a more thorough check of the aftermath of my last play session to ensure there is no long-term damage. I gather this would be wise given the various possible consequences of heavy play that you mention. I should mention that the Top I played with is very experienced, has had extensive training, and my checks before playing determined she is considered a safe and well respected player. Nevertheless, I need to ensure my own health and will make sure any persistent issues get checked thoroughly.
ReplyDeleteThank you again for taking the time to provide this very informative response.